Is That The New Teacher ?

Nowadays, we can all agree that the computer and mainly the Internet is one of the greatest inventions ever. I really cannot imagine a world without all this technology. In the last few years, technology has been taken(gr.) place in the education zone(phr. - field of education) and the question is (whether) there is a possibility that one day computers will replace human teachers.

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It is true, computers serve the(מיותר) humanity in an extraordinary way, while it enables reaching to unlimited information, and it is accessible to anyone. In addition, this new technology contributes for(ww.) education, in many ways(like what?). However, I really do not think it would be a good thing, these virtual studies.

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I believe that studies should take place in classes, and not in(ww.) home. Although sometimes there is a teacher, and students online on chat(phr.), it does not replace the real thing. In a real class, people make connections, real ones(and how is this beneficial?). Furthermore, I do not see a way in which the student has any motivation to study in his home through a computer.

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For example, in a real class students sit near their friends and they all know they have to study, either(ww.) they like it or not. In computer (classes) as opposed to (the traditional) class, the student has eventually (to) study by his own. Of course, again, the social side in(מיותר), which the students usually like the most in school, according to a study, is missing.

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In conclusion, although technology is a terrific invention(ww.), and one of the biggest(phr.), I think we should leave behind the laziness and the easy life way , and do things in the regular and the accepted way, like going to school as any normal kid should do - You must remember that a paragraph cannot consist of one, long, sentence!

Not bad

(77)

Daphna.

The internet- is it good or bad ?

Since the late 20th century, the Internet has revolutionized our lives. The Internet has become a significant factor in (the) economic and cultural development and constitutes the globalization. Also, there is no doubt the Internet affected our lives, for better, and for worse.

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As I mentioned before, the Internet has quite a lot of advantages. On the one hand, it contributes the advanced human(phr.) in many ways. It allows us, the human being(s), accessible sources of information, which helps our education. In addition, it is used as an easy way of modern communication, because people can talk by computer, by immediately(ww.) messages. Moreover, for the business people between(ww. - among) us, it is excellent for an accessible(phr.) work at home.
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On the other hand, however, the Internet has a few disadvantages. There are a lot of dangers, especially for children, such as uncontrolled material, dangerous people who try to tempt innocent children (pedophiles), etc. In addition, teenagers mainly, waste their time sitting in front of the computer, instead of doing sport activity(gr. - use the plural form), meeting friends, and studying. They are just sitting(gr.) in front of computer, activating their fingers mainly. In addition, is harm(gr.) their social abilities beacause they do not see their friends face to face, they do not talk to them directly.

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In conclusion, we can say the Internet has changed our lives in both a positive and a negative way. Inspite of the risks I have mentioned before, I think that the Internet is a positive invention, that helps us a lot in this technologic generation. Moreover, in my opinion, we can still fix the situation and take care of the children using the internet, by blocking the entrance to inappropriate sites.

This is better.

(87)

Daphna

Students get involved in their communities

Nowadays, we can see that fewer teenagers are involved in social activities, that are related to the community and helping the society. In my opinion, there are some ways to cause students to become more involved in their communities.

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First, there is a possibility to bring some people to talk about the importance of being involved in the community. I believe that if someone talks about the infinite possibilities to help the society, every student will find something that he likes and is attracted to.

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Moreover, in my school for example, there is a program called "Mechuyavut Ishit". The idea of the program is to make pupils volunteer in their communities for two years in high school. Without volunteering they could(ww. - can) not get their Bagrut certificate. It may sound a little silly to "force" those pupils to volunteer, but actually, most teenagers find they enjoy it and some of them even continue volunteering for fun.

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In conclusion,there are a few ways to cause students to be more involved in their communities. Any person, and especially a teenager, can find an activity that he really enjoys and also help other people by volunteering in his community.

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Much better. Well done.

(90)

Daphna

Unit 4- The most important qualities in a friend

Each of us has a different peronality, different qualities, different ambitions and so on. We all look for different qualities in our best friend. Some of us look for the most popular at school, the funniest, or the smartest, but in my opinion, there are some extremely important qualities in a friend, especially for me.

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For me, one of the most important qualities in a friend is the ability to listen and be there for you. I expect from my friend to hear me and help me when I need him, like the way I would do for him. Secondly, the loyalty. I think that it is very important that your friend will not go and tell everybody your secrets (phr. - doesn't share your secrets and private thoughts with others) and the thoughts you share with him. One more very important thing, is to be a person that I feel comfortable with (phr. - Your friend should also be someone you are the most comfortable with) -You listed all the qualities without expalining why they are important.You should add an explanation to each quality you have chosen to make the reader understand why you have chosen it.

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These qualities are so important for some reasons. first of all, if your friend is not able to listen, and help you when you need him- he is not a friend. In addition, someone that can not have(ww. keep) a secret is an(מיותר) unreliable, and no one wants to be a friend of somone like this.

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To conclude, There is no doubt that anyone(ww. - everyone) has its(ww. - his) own requirement(s) that he looks (for) in a friend , but I think I have named the most important (ones). - Not enough as a conclusion. Why are those you've chosen the most important? You have to state the main points of your arguument.

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I think I explained very clearly what needs to be done to make your essay better. When you choose to write about a quality, you have to write the explanation why it is importatnt to have this quality in a friend next to it. Also, you conclusion is one sentence. You have to think what should be written in a clonclusion. Remember you always have to first state the main arguments, in short.

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(68)

Daphna

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17 Eilat St.

Holon

July 16,2009

"See The World" Travel Agency

65 Hamasger St.

New-York

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Dear Sir/Madam,

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My husband and I are planning to go on a family trip in the United States, and I would like to get some information about the organized trips you offer. We want to include in our trip some educational places, challenging activities and spectacular views.

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I am a 38 years old woman,a mother for 3 kids, (a) 15 year old girl, (a) 13

year old boy, who celebrated his Bar- Mitzvah 2 weeks ago, and the trip is intended for him, and a 7 year old girl. So, I need a trip that will be suitable for them. Moreover, I would like you to send me a list of interesting and enjoyable sites that are suitable for my kids.

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In addition, I would like to get some information about the costs of everything-(מיותר) the(מיותר) hotels, the tours, the activities, etc. The hotel does not have to be so fancy, but it should be (in) good conditioned(מיותר).

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I hope to get the information soon, because as I mentioned before, it's for my son's Bar Mitzvah that took place 2 weeks ago. I will appreciate your help a lot.

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Best regards,

Mia Koluchi.

Better.

(85)

Daphna

57 Bialik St.

Holon

February 22, 2010

Local Station Manager

32 Barkat St.

Tel- Aviv

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Dear Sir/Madam ,

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I am writing this letter, because lately, I have heard about your new program that is about to be carried out . As a constant listener I want to present my suggestion for this teen's show.

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In my opinion, this show needs some experienced teenagers to give advice to other teens. In this way, teens with problems can call your show and ask for help, and they will be happy that someone can truly understand them . You can also add to this program some specialists such as doctors and psychologists.

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The show should focus on subjects of peer pressure, of all kinds such as, drugs, dropping out of shool, alcohol, and even on love issues and studies. These issues/problems exist in any teen's life. In my opinion. it will be great that they can call a radio station anonymously, and get some help from the best specialists .

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Finally, I want to thank you for giving us the opportunity to express our needs by those letters. I hope my suggestion will be taken seriously and will be chosen.

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Sincerely yours,

Maya Dagan.

(80)

Daphna

The Gadna week

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A month ago, our 11th graders went on a special school trip called "Gadna". The Gadna took place in Sde Boker in the south. In this trip students understand a little more about the army and about their service there. I have to say, that it was one of the best trips I had ever experienced in my life.

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First of all, I must indicate the fact that the Gadna began with my birthday, so my friends surprised me when they got on the bus with a cake, balloons and candles. They really made me happy. When we got there, everything was strange, it was really different from what I knew and was used to.

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In the Gadna week, we learned more about the organization of the army, elite units and we had weapon lessons, which ended in the shooting range. I enjoyed it there , even though it was not easy to wake up early in the morning when it was so cold outside.

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In conclusion, it was a huge leraning experience, which unites and let us realize new things about ourselves. I would do this again if I could, and I really recommend everybody to go on this trip, because in the army,we won't enjoy ourselves this way with our best friends.

(77)

Daphna

I am writing because I want to complain about the last tour I have experienced. I have stayed in

(where is the rest???)

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Daphna

6 Pinhas Lavon St.

Holon

February 8, 2010

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"Simhat Halev"

5 Habonim St.

Petah Tikva

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Dear Sir/Madam,

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I would like the opportunity to join your organization, "Simhat Halev", of medical clowns. I really want to help children or adults who are ill, and a little happiness could definitely help them to get some hope.

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My name is Hila Semo, I am a 17 year old student from Holon .

I have experience with children. I have been babysitting for a long time, since I was thirteen , and I really like to make children or people, in general, happy, and make them laugh.

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Altough I do not know exactly the job of clowns, I am sure I could learn anything fast, and do what it takes. I heard about your organization last week from my neighbour, and at that moment I knew,it is suitable for me. I know how important it is for the ill children, and how much I can do and accomplish in this area, I can help other people.

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I would like you to take this request seriously. I would be happy to come for an interview or send any other information you require.

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I look forward to your replay.

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Yours Truly,

Hila Semo.

Better.

(83)

Daphna

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